Five outfits, two hours, one bath. Quest for fast breakfast.

I’m really grateful for Quest bars on a normal day, but on a day like today, I’m “take my money” levels of grateful. Sample Source sent me Waffle Beyond Cereal Quest bars to review, and today it came in handy. Smells and tastes like French Toast Crunch, has 12g of protein and 8g of sugar, and the texture of a rice crispy treat as opposed to that taffy-like consistency bars usually have.

Why was it a godsend this morning? Well..

Outfit 1: pajamas from last night, peed all over pajamas and rug during diaper change. Put baby in overalls.

Outfit 2: Somehow stays in overalls but Houdinis one leg out of a fully buckled diaper and leaves a poop in the overalls and on the floor. Put baby in khakis.

Sit down to eat my breakfast and feed Hunter his breakfast. Clementines, yogurt, coffee, toast…

Outfit 3: Khakis survive breakfast but then Hunter knocks over dog water bowl onto them. Poor dog is miserable because I can never leave his water down where he can get it. Go to change pants and…

Outfit 4: Baby discovers he can spit up on his shirt by going “hssssssfffffft” while it’s in his mouth. Whatever. Stay in the dirty shirt. Though you had yogurt for breakfast so this spit up is gross but hey lets at least get you out of the wet dog water pants.

Baby then pulls mug of coffee down onto him from the bedside table. You can reach that now? Oh yeah, I forgot you can. I lectured your dad about leaving coffee here this weekend and now I did it today. At least it wasn’t hot. Do moms ever get to drink their coffee hot? If I write a parenting book it will be called microwaved coffee. I should start a blog.

So fuck it, bath time and onto outfit 5.

Shit, breakfast. The dog got my breakfast. Thank you Quest bars for existing.

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